By Haley K. Burnside
One of the most common questions I hear from potential clients is: “What does the divorce process actually look like?” The honest answer is that the steps are different for everyone. And I truly mean that. This is true not only for divorces, but all kinds of family law litigation, including enforcements, modifications of existing orders, and original custody cases. Some people go from filing to finalizing with very little conflict and very few steps. Other people go through temporary hearings, discovery battles, multiple mediations, and extensive litigation before the case is resolved.
While there are countless variables that can influence how a case unfolds, I believe there are four primary factors that shape the litigation process.
The Biggest Factor: The People Involved
The number one thing that influences how a case unfolds is the people. If you and the opposing party are essentially mortal enemies by the time the case begins, then realistically, I anticipate there will be more steps involved in the process. On the other hand, there are people who are fairly peaceful, relatively uncontested, and do not hold a ton of animosity toward one another. They may already know what assets exist, trust that they are not being lied to about finances or the children, and are therefore able to skip over several steps entirely.
Some people simply need a lawyer to advise them and draft the paperwork. Others need the court involved at nearly every stage. That is why no attorney can honestly tell you exactly how your case will go at the beginning of the case.
The Second Factor: Whether Children Are Involved
This factor is obvious. If children are involved and the parties are not on the same page regarding conservatorship, possession schedules, decision-making rights, relocation, schooling, or other parenting issues, then the case will likely involve additional steps and potentially outside professionals or experts.
The Third Factor: The Assets Involved
The next major factor is the type and complexity of the assets involved.
Even if both parties are acting reasonably and everyone generally knows what exists, there may still be things that need to be valued. Businesses tend to make cases more complicated. Retirement accounts, investment accounts, real estate holdings, deferred compensation, stock options, and unusual assets can all add additional layers to the process.
If significant money is involved, people are often more willing to invest in the discovery process because they want to feel assured that everything has been fully disclosed before making final decisions.
The Fourth Factor: The Attorneys Involved
The attorneys involved in the case can also significantly influence the process.
Some attorneys approach every case aggressively from day one. Others are more settlement-focused. Some attorneys are highly organized and efficient. Others create unnecessary conflict and expense. Some are simply overloaded with too many cases.
Every move in a family law case matters. Good lawyers generally put thought into strategy, timing, and long-term goals instead of simply reacting emotionally in the moment.
My own approach is to be honest, strategic, and efficient. Some cases require aggressive litigation. Others benefit from practical problem-solving and steady negotiation. A good family lawyer should know the difference and should not create unnecessary conflict simply for the sake of appearing aggressive.
Understanding the factors that shape the litigation process can help set realistic expectations and allow people to make more informed decisions as their case progresses.